As much as I "don't need" others (possibly my own illusion), I choose to need them, in some sense, for humanly we all want to be reached out to and reach out to. Those who offer some false transcendence of that human need, to me are in a neurotic denial or yet to plunge back into Life-as-form, Life-as-process. I wonder if God is is-happening-among-us.
I wrote the above, earlier today, in correspondence, and the idea of reaching out impresses itself on me. Yet, not needing others seems a contradiction, which I note with "possibly my own illusion."
I sensed years ago, when encountering Advaita, this profound not-needing others. Yet, at the same time, being with them and for them seemed to shift to an amazing sense of empowerment and freedom. In terms of the Christian training in contemplation I had undergone, this would be, some could say, my True Self in contrast to the False Self. Yet, truly, as Advaita teaches, I have no True or False Self. There is only the Self: the Atman. In Buddhism this would be what we refer to as Buddha Nature or our True Face. In Christianity, calling this the Holy Spirit might be a true correspondence - remembering Christianity is usually dualistic and, so, the Trinity is treated that way in most of its expressions.
From the angle of Pure Presence, we could say that Presence creates the need to connect with others - but "need" would not be, then, what is meant by "need" from the ego-centered perspective. This gets distorted through the ego-sense as neediness, as dependency. And simply having an enlightenment experience, or some transcendent experience, does not negate this dependency-pattern, which has been engrafted into the body-mind system. All dependency of an emotional nature is egoic, or ego-centered and, so, self-centered. To draw others to the self for unselfish reasons can occur, yes: then, the motive is not self-centered and not necessarily other-centered - for there is a Love that loves without a motive toward self or other, but transcends what is usually meant by self and other.
The Soul on its evolution may take odd "forms," that appear to the ego as contradictory to what the ego would expect. For example, what appears selfish may be unselfish, while what appears unselfish may be selfish. And, totally befuddling to the ego, what appears either selfish or unselfish is neither.
Recall, the way of Presence is effortless expression of Itself as Itself, even if it takes on form to do that: and Presence seems willing to take on many diverse expressions to express Itself and, in so doing, connect with us. This connecting we could call reaching out; so, really, there is no dependency in Presence reaching out, for Presence needs nothing and no one to be Itself. Presence is Its own Fullness, and this is why It can love so freely and unconditionally, and enjoy being-with others so beautifully - even in their physical absence.
Aloofness of some persons who have taken on a spiritual path and engaged its transformative power, may not be due to resistance to reaching out, but a change in the mode of their interactions. The apparently aloof being may be actually more intimate with others - for he or she is most receptive to them as them without initiating overt interactions - than the myriad who immerse themselves in the lives of others as egos relating with egos: which, in itself, is not wrong, only a lesser expression of Grace than intimacy of Heart-with-Heart, or Presence-with-Presence - and this can occur with one person aware of it and the other not (a true, holy being could be intimate with everyone present and not one of them know it, for Presence is meeting them from an aspect of Consciousness, or Heart, they have not integrated).
What need a holy man or holy woman has of others, this need has undergone a transformation in the painful but liberating fires of Grace: a rebirth, an Eastering. And I am not sure there is an end to this transformation, but only, as noted in the last writing, a continuing descent into the Heart.
So, if you are being drawn deeper into the Heart, embrace the sense of detachment you will feel. Also, be careful not to try to escape it in ordinary, non-essential activities. You will look different to others, maybe even be seen to be odd by your non-need or refusal to plunge into facile interactions and entertainments, but that is okay - you are different. And, also, shifts may occur over time, with more or less interaction shifting back-and-forth. The Soul can have its seasons, and you are in Love, not for or against interacting with others. Whether with them or apart, you are in Love with them, even though they may not believe it possible or see you not to be loving due to your apparent unpredictability or aloofness. Love can choose detachment, as well deep involvement and intimate interaction. One example of this would be Love can choose to express itself in celibacy, or Presence can engage in an ardent, passionate sexual relationship. Recall, the way of Love, or Presence, is to express Itself as Itself.
